Soooooo, another long stupid day. School tomorrow..faaack. I hate school. Stupid math. I have no clue why I took advanced math ? Urg. But ya I have an exercise plan all made up and a food plan! Thanks to my bestest friend ! Frig I have no clue what I'd do without you Felicia! I've worked 13 days straight..blah so tired. I am more than tired. Must sleep. Wow this is the lamest entry eveeeer. I'm watching criminal minds! Woot best show ever..next to greys anatomy that is. I should probably fill out food records for the stupid ed unit. I hate food. Food is a stupid fuck. I am a stupid fuck. I'm so fat and ugly and gross. Obesefatuglycow. My brain is so screwed. I'm basically torn between what I want to do, what I need to do, what I should do and what everyone else wants me to do. Stuuuupid. This is what's in my head. Its crazy.. Life. What I should do. Ed. Recovery. Quit riding next year so I can be in ed. Stop seeing tara? Keep seeing her? Exercise? Buy diet pills? Take the diuretics? Get a scale? Just be healthy? Live on the rollar coster? Take 3 zoloft? Take 100 zoloft? Eat breakfast? Do laundry? Have a shower? Do homework? Sleep? Cut? Cry? Laugh? Write? Draw? Scream? Like honestly its a wonder I'm still alive. Shouldda done it last year when I had the chance. There's so many things I regret in life..telling my 'rents about ed..getting treatment..not taking the valium..not cutting that vien..going to the ER for those tylenol..I'm such a fail at life. Why do I bother ?
Xo, fatuglyloser
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