I am worth nothing but death. Fuck. I hate living. I hate food. I hate everything. I missed my bus this morning, didn't go to school. Haven't done any work. Snooped around the house looking for hidden meds and razors..success..tylenol 3 and the hidden stash. Oh well at least I can look forward to that. Spent a half hour laying on the floor of the bathroom trying not to get blood on myself.. Fuck I'm such a useless whore. I found this letter that my mom must have written in december when I wasn't doing so hot..it basicly says congrats, I don't care about you anymore. I'm taking away everything that matters, and I don't care anymore. FUCK HER. I never wanted this to be her problem. I don't even want it to be anyones problem but my own. I got myself into this mess, now I have to deal with it, when I feel like it. And today I don't feel like it. Today I want to sit here on my phone, then on the computer then purge and then sleep and hopefully never wake up. Fuck life. Stupid life. I have no hopes of attaining anything. I'm just gonna fail and fail some more. I'm going to purge. Screw recovery..
Peace
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